“My Kid Isn’t Self-Motivated": What Self-Motivation Really Looks Like

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When someone says that their kid isn’t self-motivated, it usually means one of two things:

  1. Their kid isn’t interested in learning what they are “supposed to” learn in school.

  2. Their kid is burned out/stressed out/cynical about school to the point that it’s affected their intrinsic motivation.

Today, let’s talk about interest. At Tallgrass, we think everyone should have the right to follow their interests when it comes to what, when, and how to learn. It’s extremely normal to not be interested in learning US History at exactly 10:15 a.m. every weekday during the year you turn 11. Not being interested in something in exactly the way and at exactly the time that other people expect them to be interested in it doesn’t mean your child is not self-motivated. 

Your child might not be self-motivated in history, but very self-motivated when it comes to drawing a portrait of a friend or building a computer. They might not be very interested in history right now, but were interested last year or will be again in 5 years. They might be interested in it late at night, when they’re in a more reflective, less active mood. They might even be interested in it right now, but would rather learn it through conversation, watching videos, or going to see historical places. Or the way that history is taught in schools might not speak to them, and they’ll get interested when they find a book that talks about the history of food culture in the South or a YouTube creator who focuses on the experiences of Black people in the US. 

When students are forced to learn something, they don’t learn it well, they don’t retain the information, and they are actually less likely to be interested in it in the future. So instead of trying to control what, how, and when they learn, we support students in exploring their interests and answer their questions about how to get things done and function in the world. Are you engaged in something you find meaningful, and do you sometimes run into something you find challenging or frustrating? Great. That’s what self-motivation looks like to us. 

What about burnout, and the kid who doesn’t seem to be interested in anything? Stay tuned…

Tallgrass offers an authentic K-12 learning experience focused on freedom, community, and students’ passions. Visit our website to learn more, or download our e-book, "Is Self-Directed Education Right for Your Child?"